I'm in the business of business.

My name is David Isiah Caligula Knockles. I am the Marketing Director at the second largest producer of consumer durables relating to, or directly involving, the cleaning of clothes, and or soft furnishings, and or other fabrics, with a commitment to excellence, quality and placing superior cleaning at the core of our customers’ product experience. I am widely regarded as a living legend, an industry figurehead and a really top fucking bloke. Even my mother, with whom I DO NOT live (she is four doors down – five if you count the substation), says I’m not a total disappointment. Believe me, that is high praise indeed from the old girl!

I am the writer of the groundbreaking, shitkicking blog I AM THE CLIENT and the creator of numerous communications industry firsts, many (if not all) of which were so far ahead of their time they were regarded as anything from insane to distasteful to unsettlingly extreme to moronic.

I am also an authority on food (I eat fucking loads of it), wine (I drink fucking loads of it) and gentlemen’s executive relief professionals (I pay to stare at fucking loads of them).

I am single and have no children – NO MATTER WHAT THAT BITCH SAYS.


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